One more day
by Muizeke83
Summary: They both needed one more day...


One more day ( Secret Santa 2010)

* * *

Rated: NC-17

Spoilers: Resolutions

Summary: They both needed one more day...

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek Voyager and its characters. Story is all mine! BDC 2010

* * *

Kathryn Janeway had tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. She got out of bed and wandered through the 'house', looking around as if it were the first time she was there. Although they hadn't lived there very long, it felt like a 'home'.

It was still dark and it had never before been so quiet. She stopped and peeked around the corner where Chakotay was sleeping. She knew he was only pretending to be asleep, because she had heard his restlessness too.

She just watched him for a moment until she felt tears stinging her eyes. She had to get out of there.

* * *

Tomorrow they would be transported back to Voyager.

Chakotay was packing the few personal things he had collected during their time on the planet they named, New Earth.

He had no idea where Kathryn had gone to. She had left early in the morning, even before the sun had come up. He didn't know what the time was, but he knew it would have been at least a few hours since she had left. He was beginning to worry about her. He dropped what he was doing and went looking for her.

Chakotay walked through the woods to the one place he was certain he would find her. The big willow near the lake.

When he walked up the path leading to it, he heard soft sobs.

She was sitting on the big branch, her back to him. He tried not to startle her and approached very quietly.

With one hand she covered her face, the other on her heart. He gently placed a hand on her knee to announce his presence and she froze under his touch.

"Kathryn?"

The softness in his voice and the tenderness of his touch made it all so much worse for her. She didn't want him to see her like this, but she couldn't stop crying.

He pulled her hand away and tried to look in her eyes, but she was just staring at nothing. He lifted her chin with his finger and wiped her tears away with his thumb. He gave her a warm, comforting smile and pulled her down from the tree into his strong arms.

"Why are you crying? They're coming for us. We'll be 'home' soon." he soothed.

"I know. Maybe that's the problem."

"Why's that?"

"Oh Chakotay..." she turned her head a little and let it rest against his chest. He gently stroked her hair, tucking away a few loose strands behind her ear.

"I've always believed that we would find a cure and we would be leaving soon after we got here. When that was not the case, I was a little reticent about the fact that we would be here forever. Through you I slowly started to get used to the idea."

"I just wanted to make you feel at ease here and around me."

"And you succeeded, maybe a little too well." she whispered, but he had heard it.

_When he had told her the Angry Warrior story, they both had felt their relationship deepen. She had been confused at first about her feelings, but soon realized that there was nothing to be confused about. They were both there, for the rest of their lives, together. No Starfleet, no ship to command, no crew to be responsible for._

_She finally felt ready to give in to those feelings and then Voyager announced their return. Her heart broke that same moment._

"One more day, here with you, that's all I want. One more day to tell you..."

"Tell me what?"

"One more day to find out..."

"Find what out? Kathryn, you're not completing your sentences."

"What I'm trying to say is..." but she couldn't.

"Kathryn?"

"We're leaving tomorrow... and I... I don't want to."

He looked at her, trying to understand what she was saying.

"What do you mean, you don't want to?"

She looked up into his eyes, searching for the right words to continue. She didn't find them and had to think of another way to make him understand.

She reached up to touch his face, rose up on her toes and softly kissed his lips.

Before he could react, she pulled away again. He tightened his grip around her waist to prevent her from leaving and made her look at him.

"Kathryn..."

"No Chakotay, they are coming for us. I can't do this." She tried to push herself away, but he still wouldn't let go.

"Why not? This is right and you know it."

"Don't make this harder than it already is."

"Do you really think this will get easier when we get back? It won't, Kathryn, and I know."

She looked at him in question.

"What I said to you the other night isn't something I came up with that very moment. It was something I had wanted to tell you all along."

"Really?"

"Yes! Kathryn, I love you! I've loved you for a long time. But I knew I couldn't go there." He paused for a moment and smiled.

"When it was finally clear that we weren't going to leave anymore, I needed to tell you just that. But it still felt like you weren't ready."

"I was getting there." she chuckled. "But now we're leaving and I have to be the Captain again."

"And a Captain is not allowed to be happy? A Captain is not supposed to fall in love?"

"No."

"Bullshit!" He suddenly let go of her.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What you are saying doesn't make any sense."

She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "You don't understand."

"I understand perfectly!" he snapped at her and walked away.

* * *

Chakotay had finished packing and sat on his bed with his back against the headboard. He heard her come in, but he didn't feel like seeing her.

Kathryn wasn't surprised he wasn't there when she got back. She knew she had hurt him. But it all hurt her too. She had lost the man she loved, before she even had him to love.

She started packing her belongings, putting everything neatly away. With every item she packed, she felt worse and worse. She took one last look around to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, when the sand-painting he had given her caught her eye. She picked it up and stared at it. It was so beautiful.

She turned around to put it away, but her elbow hit something and it slipped from her hands, falling to the floor and braking into a million pieces. With it, her heart broke into a million pieces as well. A painful cry escaped from her lips and she sunk to her knees.

Chakotay flew around the corner and was by her side in an instant. He knelt down and took her by the shoulders.

"Kathryn, what happened? Are you hurt?" She violently shook her head and tried to escape his touch, but he held her and pulled her into his arms. She cried like a little child, holding on to the front of his shirt until her knuckles went white.

"I lose everything, every time." she managed between sobs.

"You haven't lost anything. I'm still here."

"Chakotay, it's wrong to take this any further on Voyager."

"It could be wrong, but it should be right!"

"It should..." She looked up at him and cupped his cheek. "But you have to understand that it can't be. As much as it hurts me to say this, I can't do this. It would be too much to bear."

"Kathryn, please..."

"Don't push me." She let her fingers glide over his tattoo and then down to his mouth. He softly kissed her fingertips and closed his eyes. A silent tear escaped the corner of his eye.

"If this is what you want..."

"No, it's not what I _want,_ it's just how it has to be." she whispered.

"Tomorrow..."

"Shhh..."

"That still leaves us tonight." Their eyes locked and the feeling that rushed through both of them was not confusing, but as clear as day.

He stood and pulled her up with him, leading her out of her room.

"Let's get some air." he suggested. She smiled and nodded, placing her arm in the crook of his elbow as they walked out of the cabin.

They walked quietly, enjoying their surroundings. The sun was up high and warmed their skin. A cool breeze made the forest alive. Leaves danced and trees swayed to the tunes of Mother Nature.

Every now and then, Chakotay glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She was smiling, but she looked miles away. She had her arms crossed over her chest, creating her own personal space and was absently rubbing her upper arms with her thumbs.

He carefully placed his hand on her shoulder and smiled when she looked at him. She covered his hand with her own and tilted her head so her cheek was resting on them. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying his comforting touch.

When they got to the lake again, she let go of him. He halted watching her as she took off her shoes and took a few steps in the clear, blue water. He gave her a minute before he kicked off his boots too, rolled up his pants and walked up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss this."

"Me too."

"I'm not just talking about the view." He gently squeezed her a little and kissed her temple.

"I know." She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. He bent down and softly kissed her lips, letting them linger there. She didn't pull away, so he cupped her cheek and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. Much to his surprise, she slightly opened her mouth and licked his lower lip, urging him to open his mouth too. They tasted each other for the first time, tongues dancing and exploring.

Reluctant they parted to catch their breaths, foreheads resting against each other. His breath was warm against her skin. She looked up into his eyes and was warmed by his smile. She smiled back a half crooked smile and cupped his cheek, tracing his dimples with her thumbs.

Suddenly her smile grew wide and she pushed herself away from him. Before he knew what was happening, she kicked up the water and he was all wet. He wiped the water off his face and looked at her, one eyebrow raised. Her hands on her hips and a smug grin on her face, she waited for his reaction.

He lunged for her, trying to grab her, but she ducked away from his grasp, almost causing him to fall flat on his face in the water. Lucky for him he caught his balance just in time, but when he turned around to her again, he was again attacked by a splash of water.

Kathryn laughed, enjoying their play. Her eyes grew wide with pleasure as Chakotay made his way to her again. She started backing up and then the unthinkable happened. She tripped over a branch under the water's surface and before she knew it, she fell on her derriere.

This time, Chakotay couldn't stop laughing. She gave him her famous glare and tried to get up. He approached her, offering his hand to pull her up, but as soon as she took it, she yanked him down in the water too.

There they sat, both soaking wet, laughing uncontrollably.

"I should've seen that one coming."

"Mmmhmmm." Her stomach hurt from laughing and she tried to catch her breath. "Yeah, you should have."

He gave her a playful nudge and then pulled her into his arms. She took advantage of the closeness to give him a quick kiss. He felt her lower lip tremble.

"You're cold?"

"A little."

"Let's get back before we catch a cold."

They helped each other up, grabbed their shoes and headed back for the cabin.

* * *

By the time they got back, Kathryn was shivering uncontrollably, rubbing her arms trying to get warm.

Chakotay grabbed some large towels and wrapped her in one.

"I need to get out of these clothes." she said with chattering teeth. She began to unbutton her dress and Chakotay's eyes were glued to her. He snapped out of it and turned around, giving her some privacy. He took off his clothes, all but his boxers and dried himself off.

Kathryn's eyes were drawn to his handsome body. His muscles rippling with every move he made. His beautiful, tanned skin almost glowing in the light. She couldn't help herself and came up to him from behind, roaming her hands over his bare back. He straightened himself and enjoyed her feathery touch.

She pressed her body against him and trailed kisses on his shoulders. Slowly she made her way around, her lips and hands never leaving his skin. Goose bumps covered him, but they weren't from the cold anymore. He could feel the arousal settling in his core, warmth radiating outward.

He cupped her cheeks and bent down to kiss her. She eagerly pushed his lips apart to taste him, devour him. He broke the kiss and sighed deeply, his eyes closed.

"What's wrong?" she asked surprised.

"Nothing's wrong. I have wanted this for so long." She reached up and tried to kiss him again, but he wouldn't let her.

"Chakotay..."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes! Yes, I'm sure. Sure about tonight. We'll deal with tomorrow...tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!" He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He sat her down on the table and started kissing her bare shoulder. He trailed a wet line all the way up to the soft spot behind her ear and she moaned in pleasure. His hand found her breast and with his thumb he teased the hardened nipple. She arched her back, enjoying his touch.

She reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, giving him better access to her wanting body. He took the time to look at the beautiful woman before him, making his erection stir mightily in his constricting boxers.

He needed some time, not ready for this yet, so he directed all his attention to pleasing the only one he thought deserved it. While he teased her nipples again with his tongue, he pushed down her panties. He slowly made his way down to her very wet centre, kissing her inner thighs, then licking a wet line between her folds. She gasped at the surprise and actually giggled from the intense sensation that ripped through her.

Chakotay couldn't help but smile at that reaction and continued, hoping to get more of that. While he sucked and lapped at her clit, his hands massaged her firm breasts.

Kathryn didn't know what was happening to her. It had been so long since anyone had made her feel this way. She felt the unmistakable tingle of a nearing orgasm build up inside her and she bucked her hips. One of his hands left her breast and he slowly slid a finger in her tight opening. That did it and Kathryn crashed down from her high, her body convulsing, her breathing ragged.

Chakotay let her ride it out and kissed his way back up, hovering over her and enjoying the look on her face. When she finally managed to open her eyes, she was greeted by the warmest smile.

"That was... amazing..."

"Was it?" he teased her.

"Mmm hmm."

She pulled him down for a kiss and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up with him.

"Ready for some more?" he whispered in her ear and licked the sensitive spot behind it.

"Oh yeah!"

When she turned to walk to his bed, he slapped her behind, making her squeal and giggle like a teenage girl again.

Once _in_ the bed, the sounds they both made were from an entirely different order...

* * *

The morning sun peeked through the windows, lighting up his handsome face. She couldn't help but stare, wondering how she was going to deal with letting him go.

A tear fell onto her hand and she was stirred out of her thoughts. She pushed herself into a sitting position, pulling her legs close to her chest. She buried her face in her arms and tried to fight back the tears that were still stinging her eyes.

'_Get yourself together, Kathryn. They're coming, there's no turning back.'_

She felt a strong hand, slowly caressing her back and she couldn't help but smile at his comfort. She looked over her shoulder into his sleepy brown eyes.

"Hi."

"Good morning my Kathryn."

He gently pulled her down into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. He buried his nose into her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Tonight it will be Captain again." she sighed.

"In my heart, you'll still be my Kathryn." He put his finger under her chin and made her look at him again. "Don't ever forget that!"

"I won't, I promise."

He bent down and gave her a quick kiss.

"Is that all I get?" she teased.

"For now, yes. I don't want to spoil the moment with morning breath."

Kathryn laughed out loud at that comment and nudged him. He quickly kissed her on her forehead and got out of bed, leaving her to enjoy the view of his naked backside.

"Give me a minute, I'll make you breakfast." he called out from the bathroom.

"You're an angel." she yelled back.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway." she heard her comm. badge from the living area. She jumped out of bed and hurried to answer.

"Janeway here."

"Captain, I want to inform you that we will be in orbit within the hour. We will contact you as soon as we are in transporter range."

"Acknowledged. Thank you Tuvok. Janeway out."

'_One hour, we only have one hour left.'_

She covered her face with one hand and took a steadying breath.

"I meant breakfast in bed." Chakotay said as he came up behind her. She turned around and the look on her face made him cringe.

"We don't have time for breakfast anymore." she sighed. "They'll be here in an hour." She walked past him and went to the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

Chakotay walked out with the last container and put it with the rest. He noticed Kathryn staring at her vegetable garden and felt sorry for her.

"Ready?"

She looked over her shoulder and nodded, not trusting her voice. After taking one last look, she turned around and joined him, ready to be transported. She looked him in the eye and neither of them needed words to tell each other how they were feeling. He gave her a small smile and she managed one too, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"I love you Kathryn."

"I love you too."

He took a step closer and bent down to kiss her. She answered the kiss with passion, cupping his cheeks and pulling him close. They reluctantly parted; their eyes still closed and locked that memory deep in their hearts.

In the blink of an eye, the Captain's mask was in place. She squared her shoulders and with her head held high, she tapped her badge.

"Janeway to Voyager, two to beam up."

* * *

As soon as they materialized in the transporter room, the ensign in charge greeted them. Her eyes filled with tears at the sight of her command team finally back where they belonged.

"Captain, Commander, it's good to have you back." she welcomed them. Kathryn stared at the woman for a minute, stepped off the pad and nodded.

"It's good to be back."

Chakotay noticed the slight quiver in her voice and placed a reassuring hand on the small of her back as they made their way to the bridge.

The whole way up there, she avoided his look and left it at that, afraid that he would make this more difficult for her, or for himself.

When the turbo lift doors opened, the entire Senior Staff greeted them.

"Welcome back Captain, Commander." Tuvok said. Kathryn walked up to him.

"The Doctor tells me you contacted the Vidiians after all."

"I disobeyed your order Captain. I am prepared to accept the consequences."

She wanted to smack him right in the face, but thought better of it. He didn't know after all.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say your decision was almost... emotional." She didn't leave him a chance to comment on that and immediately went to business. She felt she had to, to get through the moment.

"Thank you all! Well, we've lost time with all this."

'_Breathe, Kathryn, breathe.'_

"Let's see if we can make some of it up. Mr. Paris, warp 8."

"Aye Captain." Tom answered, a little surprised.

"Commander, we'll need to review the ships systems. I'll handle propulsion, environmental and communication. You'll be responsible for sensors, weapons and transporters." she ordered as she took her seat. Her heart was pounding so hard, she almost felt light headed. She had to hold the arms of her chair tightly to maintain her control of the situation. She still couldn't look at the man beside her.

"Aye Captain, I'll have a report to you by 1800 hours." He played along with her coolness, although it stung like hell.

'_I can handle it till 1800 hours.'_ she thought.

"Check with phaser maintenance. See if they've solved that problem with the pre-fire chamber temperature."

"Yes ma'am. I'll see to it."

'_She's so cold now. Where is Kathryn?'_

Janeway swallowed past the lump in her throat and went silent.

'_Keep breathing! You can do this. You're back with your family...'_

She pictured her crew, one by one, all the faces she had missed while on New Earth. Kes, Neelix, B'Elanna, Tom, Harry, Tuvok, the Doctor, and all the others. She really _had _missed them.

She calmed down, her head stopped spinning, and she was slowly getting control over her emotions again. For now, she felt safe behind her Captain façade.

She glanced over to Chakotay, but he wasn't there anymore. She hadn't even noticed him leaving.

"Mister Tuvok, I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge."

He nodded and continued with his work.

When the ready room doors closed behind her, Kathryn let out a deep sigh she didn't even know she was holding in.

"Coffee, black." she ordered the replicator. She took the steaming mug into her hands and breathed in the strong scent. It managed to calm her even more, much to her relief. She shook off the last of the built up tension and sat down at her desk, picking up where she had left things six weeks ago.

* * *

"Chakotay, I'm so glad you're back." B'Elanna welcomed him when he entered Engineering, but as soon as he was standing beside her, she punched him hard on the upper arm.

"Ouch, what's that for?"

"You better not let me miss you that much anymore, P'tak!"

"I'm sorry." He smiled weakly.

"Chakotay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, why do you ask."

"I know you better than that. Spill!"

He looked down at his feet, not exactly knowing what to say.

"What... your six weeks of shore leave weren't fun? Alone with the Captain on an inhabited planet..." she said suggestively, quirking her eyebrows.

Chakotay shook his head and frowned, trying to figure out what she was saying.

"Leaving your family, not knowing if you'll ever get home to Earth is not exactly fun, B'Elanna."

She immediately regretted what she had said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, I'm sorry too, it's just..."

"What?"

"It's nothing, forget I said anything." He turned around to leave, but B'Elanna caught him by the arm and made him look at her again. She searched his eyes, trying to figure out what he was not saying.

"What happened back there, Chakotay?"

"I got to know the Captain. I got to know... Kathryn." he answered, barely a whisper.

"And why is that so bad?"

"Because, when we left that planet... the Captain left Kathryn behind."

* * *

B'Elanna walked into the mess hall, hoping to find Tom or Harry there. She was in luck they both were there.

She pulled up a chair and interrupted their, what seemed, intense discussion. They both looked up, feeling caught, but she didn't even notice.

"Guys, we have a problem." she started.

"We do?" Tom asked.

"Yes!"

"And what seems to be the problem?"

"Janeway and Chakotay."

Tom and Harry's eyes locked at hearing those two names. B'Elanna saw it and got a fair idea of what they were talking about when she interrupted them.

"You noticed it too?" Harry broke the awkward silence.

"No, I haven't noticed anything, I was in Engineering. Why? What happened on the bridge?"

"Something was way off. The Captain seemed a little out of character and Chakotay..."

"I know."

"I thought you hadn't noticed anything?" Harry was getting confused.

"He came to me earlier down in Engineering. He looked... hurt, lost."

Tom leaned back in his chair, looking at Harry with a smug grin on his face. "I told you so."

Harry rolled his eyes and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. B'Elanna looked at them and was getting a little frustrated with how slow the conversation was going.

She smacked the table with her fist and grabbed their uniform jackets. Their eyes went wide, both just a little terrified of the Klingon temper that had surfaced.

"What are we going to do about this?" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"As long as we don't know what happened down on that planet..."

"Judging by the state they are both in, I have a pretty clear idea of what happened down there. Six weeks together, alone, on an uninhabited planet... do I need to draw a picture?" Tom said sarcastically.

"But why the sudden coldness now?"

"Her precious Starfleet rules and regulations have come to bite her in the ass again!"

"Why do they always seem to get in the way of everything?"

"That's what we're taught." Harry just said.

"I think it's time we bent some rules." B'Elanna stated and stood up from her seat.

"What are you going to do?" Harry looked like he was going into shock.

"Don't you worry your precious little head over that, Starfleet. I've got it covered." she winked and left them.

* * *

Kathryn's door chime rang, but she didn't notice. She was still reading the reports that had piled up on her desk.

"Kathryn." Chakotay startled her.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I noticed." He stopped in front of her desk, holding two more PADD's in his hand.

"More?" she sighed and pouted.

"You asked for them." he smiled apologetically.

"I know, I know. Just put them there with the rest." she pointed at the pile to the left of her. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." she tried to manage a smile, but she didn't succeed.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you know me too well." She looked down at her folded hands in her lap.

Chakotay walked around the desk and knelt down beside her. He gently placed his hand on hers and felt her tense up, but he didn't pull away.

"Kathryn... talk to me." he whispered.

"I... can't. It's... too hard." The words almost got caught. She pulled one hand from under his and covered her eyes to push back the tears that were stinging.

"Try." he insisted. He pulled at her hand trying to make her look at him, but she just turned her head the other way.

"Don't make it harder than it already is, Chakotay. We're on Voyager, we can't do this."

"I don't agree with you, Kathryn!"

"I don't care if you don't agree with me. It's just how it is."

"I won't accept that!" he raised his voice and stood up.

"You don't have a choice."

"Damn it, Kathryn!" He angrily shoved the PADD's off her desk, making them crash to the floor and smacked his hand flat on the surface of the desk. As soon as he had done that, he was sorry about it. Kathryn looked at him, startled and a bit scared. He turned around, rubbing his face.

"Leave Chakotay." she whispered, but it was clear enough.

Chakotay didn't look back at her and left, as he was told.

'_I'm sorry.'_ was all he could think of.

* * *

Kathryn walked into her quarters feeling numb, empty. She took off her jacket and kicked off her shoes, leaving them where they cared to fall. She wanted nothing else than to crawl into her bed and sleep this off, but she knew this wasn't something that she could get rid of just by sleeping.

Not bothering to undress any further, she crawled under the covers and buried her head in the pillow. Luckily that muffled the sound of her crying, but she had to come up for air eventually. She took a deep breath and held it again, fighting the hurt that tried to break free.

Suddenly she felt sick to her stomach.

'_Breathe through it!'_ she said to herself, but it didn't help. She almost fell out of the bed and hurried to the bathroom, already feeling the acid burn in her throat. Just in time she fell to her knees and threw up the meagre content of her stomach.

When she thought nothing else could come up anymore, she leaned back against the wall, trying to catch her breath. Her head was spinning and her legs felt limp. She needed someone to help her up, but she couldn't think of anyone she was comfortable with seeing her like this.

She reached for the towel hanging almost next to her to wipe her face and slumped down, not able to keep her eyes open anymore. She didn't know if she was just sleepy or losing consciousness, but she gave in to the feeling anyway.

* * *

"Bridge to Captain Janeway."

Nothing.

"Captain Janeway, do you read me?" Harry tried again.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"**Captain Janeway is in her quarters.**"

Harry shook his head in confusion, trying to figure out why she wasn't responding. Maybe she was taking a shower or sleeping.

"Bridge to Captain Janeway." Still nothing. It wasn't like her to not respond after the third hail, even if she _was_ asleep.

"Bridge to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"Commander, I've been trying to reach the Captain, but she's not responding."

"What's her location?"

"She's in her quarters."

"Give me a minute; I'll go check on her. Chakotay out."

Chakotay put his cup of tea down on the table beside him and put on his boots to go see why she wasn't answering her hails.

He rang her chime once, twice, no answer. He keyed in his override code and entered her living area. It was dark and quiet.

"Kathryn?" he called for her, but she didn't respond. He walked towards the bedroom and almost tripped over one of her boots in the middle of the room.

"Kathryn?" he tried again and listened carefully for any sign of her. He was getting a bit anxious, so he just entered her private area only to not find her there. Then he noticed the light coming from her bathroom.

When he saw her on the floor, his heart skipped a beat and he was beside her in a second.

"Kathryn! Kathryn, wake up!" He checked her pulse and found it was strong and steady. Her eyes fluttered open and she tried to say something, but no words could be understood. He pulled her into a sitting position, holding her close to his chest. "Kathryn, what happened?"

"Threw up." she managed. "Couldn't get up."

Chakotay noticed the state the toilet was in and flushed it.

"Cold." she said and snuggled closer to him.

"Let's get you to bed." He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her bed. He gently laid her down and helped her out of her pants and turtleneck. He tucked her in and sat down beside her.

He remembered he still had to inform Harry.

"Chakotay to Ensign Kim."

"Ensign Kim here."

"The Captain is alright. Did you need her for anything in particular?"

"No sir, there was an anomaly that had appeared on long range sensors, but it disappeared about ten minutes ago. I'll keep an eye on it. If it shows up again, I'll contact you."

"You do that. Chakotay out."

"Thank you." she said with her eyes closed. He tucked away a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at her with compassion.

"Oh Kathryn, why are you doing this to yourself? To us?"

She didn't answer and Chakotay assumed she had fallen asleep. He bent down and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"I love you." he whispered.

He started to get up, but she pulled him back down by his wrist.

"Stay." was all she said.

"Are you sure?"

Kathryn just nodded and rolled over, giving him room to crawl in next to her. He undressed himself and lay down beside her, scooting close. She reached behind and pulled his arm around her, snuggling closer to his body for warmth and reassurance.

Chakotay listened intently, waiting for her breathing to even out and when he was sure she was asleep, he let himself drift off too. He didn't notice the silent tear that ran down his face as he closed his eyes.

* * *

"Kim to Paris."

"What's up Harry?"

"Are you busy?"

"I _was_ sleeping."

"Meet me in the mess hall in five."

"Aye Captain." Tom joked.

Harry closed the comm. and shook his head. "I'm going to take five, I need a drink" he informed and left the bridge to the next officer in line.

He hurried to the mess hall and arrived there at the same time as Tom.

"What's the emergency, Harry? Did you set the Captain's chair on fire?"

"Very funny. No, Chakotay is in the Captain's quarters."

"And?"

"He has been for the past three hours."

"So?"

"They are _not_ going over reports."

"How do you know that? Harry, have you been spying on them?" Tom kept teasing.

"Nooo... not exactly. I mean..."

"If your cheeks could get even redder, Neelix might take you for a Talaxian tomato."

"There was an anomaly and Chakotay said to inform him if I had more information about it, but when I tried to reach him over the comm., he didn't answer, like the Captain did earlier."

"Mmhmm." Tom crossed his arms in front of his chest, wondering where this was going.

"I asked the computer for his location and it stated he was in the Captain's quarters. Specifically... the bedroom."

"The computer doesn't give that detailed information, Harry."

"Oh okay, I scanned for his life sign and that's when I found out he was in her bedroom. In her bed, no space between them."

"Harry, Harry, Harry..." Tom started smiling broadly. "Do you know what that means?"

"I think I do, yes, that's why I called you."

"That means everything is right in the world!" He patted Harry on the shoulder and guided him out the mess hall again. "Let's go tell B'Elanna!"

* * *

"Kathryn... Kathryn, wake up."

"Mmmm, not yet." She pulled the covers over her head and wrapped herself in them, not ready to leave the warmth just yet.

"Our shift starts in 45 minutes."

Realisation dawned on her. This was not New Earth; they were back. Back on Voyager, back on duty... and Chakotay was waking her. She immediately threw back the covers and sat up in bed.

"Chakotay, you need to go." she panicked.

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be here."

"Kathryn, nothing happened. You were sick and didn't want to be alone." He placed a hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away.

"You need to go."

Chakotay shook his head and got out of bed. He grabbed his clothes and left, feeling hurt and angry again.

Kathryn got out of bed too and took a quick sonic shower. As soon as her hair was up and her Captains mask in place, she was ready to attack the day again... or so she thought.

"Neelix, my friend." Tom startled the very busy cook.

"Mr. Paris, what can I get you?"

"I need a favour."

"No, no, no! You still owe me replicator rations from last week. You'll have to settle for something on the menu!" He lifted his hands in the air.

"That's not what I want. I need you to try and figure out how the crew thinks about the Captain and Commander being an item."

"An uh, an uh, item you say?"

"Shhh... I need to know how this would affect the crew morale. And who's better for this assignment than our very own moral officer."

"Consider it done, Mr. Paris! I'll try to get you a report by the end of the day." Neelix came a bit closer. "I'm guessing this news would actually be a true morale booster!" he whispered and wiggled his eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

"Of course. If the crew knows that they are getting on with their lives, maybe they won't be so afraid to get on with their own. There is a lot of romance going on on the ship, but regulations... you know."

"Oh, I know alright." Tom admitted.

"Don't worry, Lieutenant, you can count on me!"

"Thanks Neelix, I owe you."

"I know! A lot of replicator rations." he winked and swatted Tom on the arm before turning back to his stove and serving the hungry crewmembers.

* * *

"Captain on the bridge." Harry announced.

"Status report."

"I have been studying an anomaly all night shift. It appears to be some kind of spacial rift, but it keeps disappearing every time I take Voyager closer to scan it."

"I see. Well, if we can't seem to study it from up close, there's no point in trying again. Note it in the log and resume previous course."

Harry looked confused. She never gave up on something worth exploring.

"Captain..."

"Ensign, you have been at it all night. You are relieved of duty until your next shift. Helmsman, resume course to the Alpha Quadrant."

"Aye Captain."

"I'll be in my ready room."

Harry watched her as she disappeared.

Not a moment later, Tom barged onto the bridge, late again as usual. He breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed that neither the Captain or the Commander were there. He then turned to Harry and noticed the odd look on his face.

"Long shift, Harry?"

"I don't know what is going on, but the Captain is acting very strange again. She just dismissed an anomaly worth exploring and without any further explanation she relieved me and went to the ready room. She didn't even notice you being late again."

"Thank God for that, but that is indeed very disturbing. Where's Chakotay?"

"Haven't seen him in here either and his shift started 10 minutes ago too."

"He might be on rounds?"

"That's possible, but don't they always go over the shift planning together?" Harry nodded towards the unoccupied command chairs.

Tom went quiet for a second, pondering several scenarios in his head. "Let's go." He just said and pulled Harry from behind his console into the turbo lift.

"Where are we going?"

"Engineering." Tom ordered the lift which started moving immediately. "We need to act fast, Harry!"

When the turbo lift doors opened, Tom almost wet his pants.

"Good morning Commander." Harry greeted Chakotay.

"Good morning." he answered, but he didn't seem to notice them. If he had, he would have known Tom wasn't at his station.

Tom and Harry looked at him, confused.

"Let's go!" Tom pulled Harry with him again.

B'Elanna walked out of Engineering and almost bumped into the two friends.

"I'm so glad you're here. We need to set this right!"

"That's what I was thinking too." Tom answered.

"What are we going to do?" Harry asked.

"I've asked Neelix to do some research among the crew. He's going to report to me later in the day."

"Good!" B'Elanna said, her mind working on the rest of the plan in progress. "Chakotay was just here, and he was _not_ happy."

"We noticed. He looked a million miles away when we passed him just now."

"I don't understand. Everything seemed okay last night." Harry said.

"Something must have happened this morning."

"Something _did_ happen this morning." B'Elanna emphasized. Both men's eyes widened and they were waiting for her to explain. "But I can't tell you. Chakotay asked me to keep this to myself."

"You're kidding right? Come on, B'Elanna, I thought we were in this scheme together."

"We are, but you'll just have to trust me on this one. We _need_ to get a move on!"

The three of them put their heads together and talked over their plan together. It had to work!

* * *

The ready room chime rang.

"Come in."

"Captain."

"Commander, what can I do for you?"

"I have an additional report on the pre-fire chamber temperature."

"Thanks." She took the PADD and studied it for a moment. "I'm glad they got the problem fixed. We don't need a malfunction in the heat of a battle, do we?" she looked up and smiled lightly.

"No we don't." he smiled back.

"Anything else?"

"Permission to speak freely."

She nodded.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Can we talk about it?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do. Kathryn, this is going to affect us working together."

"I know." she whispered and closed her eyes.

"Then let's talk about it." He took a step closer to the desk and placed a hand on hers.

"I can handle a heated situation, I can talk my way through anything, but I find it so hard talking to you... about us." she admitted with a shy smile.

"You can try."

"Maybe yes, but I don't trust the emotions that go with it. I'm not used to losing control over them, I feel so vulnerable then."

"I understand. Before New Earth, I had never seen Kathryn in the Captain." He gently squeezed her hand.

"You hadn't?"

"Not like I saw her there, no. You have kept her hidden quite well." he joked, trying to lighten the mood. She couldn't help but smile a small smile with that comment.

"Kathryn, that's who I fell in love with, not the Captain. But it seems you've left Kathryn behind on that planet."

Her face turned grim again. He was right. It was Kathryn she couldn't control. It was Kathryn that cried alone in her quarters at night. It was Kathryn that carried the burden of getting everyone lost in the Delta Quadrant. It was Kathryn that had fallen in love with the man standing before her. It was the Captain that got her through all this.

It was the Captain that was getting tired...

Chakotay noticed the tears welling up in her eyes again and he came around the desk, feeling the need to comfort her. He pulled her up from her chair and enveloped her in a warm embrace.

"Chakotay, I'm so confused. I don't know who I am anymore. I feel lost."

"Then it's time we find you again, but you have to stop fighting."

"I'm tired of fighting."

"I know."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled closer to his chest. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in her scent.

"I love you!" she whispered with a shaky voice.

"I love you too. We'll get there, Kathryn, trust me."

'_I do! I trust you with my life!'_

_

* * *

_

"Lieutenant!" Neelix yelled at Tom as he approached him in the corridor.

"Neelix."

"Lieutenant, I have some news for you."

"I'm all ears."

"I've been asking around and I was surprised with some of the things I found out."

Tom kept looking at him intently, waiting for him to continue.

"It seems that almost half of the crew thought they were already romantically involved."

Tom's eyes widened.

"They don't have a problem at all with that; they are kind of all waiting for them to take it to the next level."

"What next level?"

"They're waiting for the Commander to propose."

"Really." Tom got that twinkle in his eye as he felt like all the pieces to the puzzle were finally falling into place. Their plan was going to be a success.

"Thanks Neelix, I think you've just saved the day."

Neelix felt very pleased with himself and smiled broadly.

"Can you do me one last favour?"

"Anything, because I'm pretty sure it involves the Captain and the Commander."

Tom nodded and wrapped an arm around the Talaxian's shoulder.

"Walk with me, talk with me." he said and filled him in with the details of the rest of the plan.

* * *

"Neelix to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"Commander, I have a situation in the mess hall and I didn't want to disturb the Captain for it. I was wondering if you..."

"I'm on my way Neelix. Chakotay out."

"That's one! One to go!" Tom cheered him on.

"Neelix to Captain Janeway."

"Janeway here."

"Captain, I have a little situation in the mess hall. I was wondering..."

They both could hear the exasperated sigh.

"I'm on my way."

"Thank you. Neelix out."

Neelix let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, feeling a little anxious about being a part of Tom's little scheme. Tom, Harry and B'Elanna's scheme. How did they always manage to get him involved? He was praying he wouldn't regret it.

Tom lit the last candles on the table while Neelix made the finishing touches to his special dishes.

"Are you sure..."

"Yes Neelix, I'm sure. It doesn't need Leola root!"

Neelix raised his hands in defeat and hurried into the kitchen to get the cooled bottle of champagne. They both looked at the table and nodded contently.

"Perfect! Now let's get out of here! Quick!" Tom pulled Neelix by his vest out the door.

Janeway and Chakotay arrived at the mess hall almost simultaneously, looking at each other confused.

"Commander?"

"Neelix has a situation." he shrugged.

"I know, that's why I'm here." she stated.

"I thought he didn't want to disturb you. That's why he asked for me."

Kathryn's eyes narrowed, the little hairs in her neck coming up, feeling suspicious about what was going on. Chakotay had the same awkward feeling and knew something was up.

They both stepped through the door and stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of a romantically decorated mess hall. Kathryn's hand flew to her mouth while the other grabbed Chakotay's arm to steady herself.

"Oh Chakotay..."

"I really want to take credit for this, but I had nothing to do with it."

She slowly turned her head, frowning and not understanding what he was saying.

"Then who..."

"I don't know, but I'm going to thank him, her or them later!" he smiled.

He walked to the table and held out the chair for her. She took a seat and waited for him to sit down across from her. He topped off their glasses and raised his.

"May tonight be full of wonders and surprises." he toasted.

"I can't wait." she said, suddenly feeling very at ease in contrast to earlier that day and raised her own glass to meet his. They both took a sip, letting the cool fluid tantalize their taste buds. Kathryn closed her eyes in delight.

"This is good."

"It sure is. Let's see if the food is as good."

They enjoyed their meal, talking about nothing in particular, until they had nothing left to talk about. Chakotay just stared at her, noticing the faint blush appear on her cheek. He smiled, which made Kathryn's heart melt. She was a sucker for his cute dimples. Her smile faded and Chakotay reached for her hand in concern.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know." she said in soft voice.

Chakotay stood up and walked around the table, kneeling beside her. He reached up to cup her cheek and searched her eyes for further explanation.

"I love you, Chakotay. I... _need _you. I've tried to fight this, but this is a battle I can't win. My heart aches and my body longs to be loved... by you."

Her declaration of love for him brought tears to his eyes. He swallowed hard, trying to maintain his composure. He didn't trust his voice, but Kathryn was clearly waiting for some kind of reaction, so he did the only thing he thought he was capable of doing. He pulled her down in the most passionate kiss they had ever shared. It was full of love and emotion, full of want and desire, hopefully telling her more than a thousand words could.

He reluctantly broke the kiss in need of air, their foreheads still touching and his hands still cupping her cheeks. They both had their eyes closed, relishing the moment.

"Stay with me tonight!"

She pulled back a little, looking deep into his big brown eyes. He feared that this was a step too soon taken again, but when her mouth curled into a smile he knew his fear was ungrounded.

Tears escaped her eyes, rolling down over his hands.

"I thought you'd never ask."

A laugh came from deep within her and turned into a sob.

"Let's get out of here!"

"Okay." she whispered and laughs and sobs mingled together again. Her emotions were all over the place and for the first time, she didn't care.

Chakotay pulled her into a hug. He had his Kathryn back.

* * *

Tom and Neelix stared at them through the little windows in the mess hall doors, mouths wide open.

"It worked. It really worked." Neelix managed to say.

"Hell yeah." was all Tom managed to contribute.

They watched as the Captain and Commander left the mess hall, his arm wrapped around her waist and her head on his shoulder. When the door closed behind them, Tom and Neelix entered from the other side, smiling contently.

"Paris to Torres."

"Torres here."

"We have lift off!"

"Yes!" they heard her cheer. "Where are you now?"

"Mess hall."

"I'll be there in a second!"

She didn't even bother to close the comm. so Tom did it himself so he could inform Harry.

"Paris to Kim."

"Tell me you have good news."

"The best!"

"You're serious?"

"Deadly! Meet us in the mess hall."

"I was already on my way. Kim out."

They arrived just in time, but had to duck when Tom popped the cork of a champagne bottle. He filled the four glasses Neelix had provided and they made a toast to their command team.

"There is just one problem, guys." B'Elanna kind of killed the mood.

They looked at her in question.

"What problem. They are together."

"Yes, they are, but no one knows."

"We know." Neelix said.

"Of course we know, but we're not supposed to."

"Damn." Tom cursed. Neelix just hit himself on the forehead and Harry shook his head.

"We need another plan."

"No, we don't. It's up to them now." B'Elanna warned Tom, who looked like he was already scheming again.

"She's right, we've got to trust them to do the right thing by each other." Harry backed her up.

"Fine. Let's give them a week." Tom wasn't going to let it go.

"Deal, one week!"

They all put their hands together and sealed the deal.

* * *

Meanwhile...

Janeway and Chakotay exited the turbo lift on deck 3 and he escorted her politely to her quarters. She stepped inside, sure that he would follow, but he didn't just to tease her. She turned around, placing her hands on her hips and looked at him with determination in her eyes.

"Get your ass in here, Commander!" she ordered.

"Aye Captain!" he saluted in the old fashion way.

As soon as the doors slid close behind him, she attacked. Her arms flew around his neck and she pressed her lips violently to his in a searing kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her slightly and she took advantage of the leverage to wrap her legs around him. He turned and pressed her up against the bulkhead, his growing erection teasing her through the fabric of their uniforms.

She started unzipping his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders, but it got caught somewhere along the way. He noticed she was struggling, but leaning against the bulkhead didn't give them a lot of opportunity to move. He grabbed her tightly and turned around, guiding them to her bedroom. He gently laid her down without breaking their kiss. He quickly got rid of the jacket and threw it anywhere it would fall.

When they finally broke for much needed air, they were both panting. He stood back up and pulled his turtleneck off while Kathryn worked on his pants. Together with his boots, he kicked them off, leaving him with nothing on but his black silk boxers.

"Is none of your underwear Starfleet?" she asked him teasingly.

"They itch. I have a very delicate derrière."

Her hands came around him and squeezed his firm buttocks.

"That's one sexy derrière alright."

Chakotay pulled Kathryn up again, so he could have the pleasure of undressing her too. He kissed her cheek, trailing down to her neck and the sensitive spot behind her ear. A moan of pleasure escaped and he couldn't help but smile. He unzipped her jacket, throwing it behind him on the pile of his own clothes. He had to stop kissing her to get rid of her turtleneck too. She took over, which gave him the opportunity to kneel in front of her and pull her pants down.

He surprised her by licking a wet line from the waistband up to her navel. Goosebumps covered her creamy skin and her abdominal muscles contracted.

"That tickles." she laughed and held his head between her hands. The mischievous grin on his face told her he was up to something and he teased her sensitive abdomen again, making her shudder from laughter. She gently nudged him away and sat back down on the bed. He caught her lips again in a hot, wanting kiss and eased her down as he crawled on top of her.

He kissed her lips briefly and continued exploring the rest of her body. He pulled down the soft fabric of her bra and teased her nipple between his teeth. She arched up, loving how it hurt and felt good at the same time.

"This isn't exactly Starfleet issued underwear either." he said as his hand crept inside her pants and stroked her hot, wet centre.

"I'm delicate all over!" she sighed as his fingers teased her sensitive clit.

He left her nipple and licked his way down, pulling her pants down in one swift movement. He bit her inner thigh, then the other side and she instinctively opened her legs, hoping he would take it further than just the teasing.

"I want you, Chakotay." she said in a husky voice.

"Be patient sweet Kathryn."

"That's not something I'm good at."

"I know."

He wasn't the least bit surprised that she sat back up again, needing to take control over the situation. He didn't really care, so he let her do whatever she wanted with him. She pulled him down beside her, pulled off his boxers and her own panties and straddled him. She eased herself down, sucking in a deep breath at the sensation of being completely filled.

"Oh... damn."

Chakotay did nothing. He enjoyed the sight and gave her time to adjust. When she felt ready enough, she slowly started moving.

"Go slow." Chakotay said almost pleading. He wanted this to last!

They found the right rhythm and it didn't take long before Kathryn felt the tingle of her nearing orgasm. Her nails dug deep into his chest and her breathing changed.

"Don't come yet."

"I can't stop it."

"Slow down."

"Don't want to."

Chakotay firmly held her down by the hips, stopping every movement. Kathryn opened her eyes and gave him an angry glare. He dismissed it and pulled her down on his chest. He managed to turn them both, trying to cause minimal friction inside her and gave her some time to get down from her high. They kissed, gently but passionately, before she bucked her hips and encouraged him to get things going again.

He slid in and out of her, each time a little rougher. He pulled up her knees for another angle, but soon realized that this was going to pull him over the edge very soon.

Kathryn started panting again, an occasional moan escaping from deep within her.

"Oh... oh... don't stop." She was getting there again, but this time she wasn't alone.

Chakotay was breathing faster, Kathryn more shallow, both reaching their climax. As soon as Kathryn's inner muscles tightened around his sensitive shaft, he stumbled into perfect bliss with her, her name on his lips.

* * *

Captain Janeway and Chakotay arrived on the bridge together. The entire crew noticed the change in their behaviour towards each other.

Tom turned in his chair and glanced at Harry with a grin on his face. Harry tilted his head, knowing exactly what he meant. This was looking good.

Chakotay held out his hand, letting her pass him to take their seats.

"Status report."

"Everything is looking good Captain. Voyager is running on peak efficiency, we have clear space ahead of us and we have a system on long range scanners in which we discovered several planets that have dilithium ore."

Janeway's day couldn't get any better. This was what they had been waiting for, for a very long time.

"Mr. Paris, lay in a course. Warp 6."

"Aye Captain."

Chakotay was checking the readings on their console, his finger moving swiftly over the panel. Kathryn caught them and he looked up in her beautiful blue eyes, contentment could be read in them. She laced her fingers through his and leaned over a little closer. He did the same.

"Have I told you today how much I love you?" she whispered, a shy smile appearing on her face.

"Not yet." he flashed his dimples back at her.

"Well then, I love you."

She quickly brushed her lips against his cheek and sat back down in her chair.

"Kim to Paris." he whispered.

"What is it." he whispered back.

"You should see this. Too bad you're sitting with your back to them."

"Oh, I know what's going on, I can hear them whispering. She just said she loved him."

"Really?" Harry said a little too excited.

"What's that you're saying, Ensign?" Janeway turned to look at him.

"Nothing."

She looked at him quizzically, but dismissed it.

"I'm going to go over some reports in the ready room. Just call if you need me." she informed Chakotay and stood up. He caught her hand and pulled her down a little so he was close to her ear.

"Kathryn, I need you." he teased.

A smile appeared on her face again. "Don't be silly."

He winked at her and let go of her hand.

"Commander, you have the bridge." she stated and went to her ready room.

As soon as she was out of sight, Chakotay stood up too and walked the three steps up to the turbo lift. Before he stepped in, he turned to Harry.

"There are some things I need to take care of. If the Captain asks where I am, just tell her I'm on rounds."

"Aye sir." Harry nodded.

"Mr. Paris, you have the bridge." he ordered and stepped in the lift.

"Engineering." he ordered. There was something he needed to run by B'Elanna, ask her for some advice on something.

When he entered Engineering, she immediately came to him.

"What's with that smile on your face?"

"Do you have a minute." he asked and grabbed her by the arm, guiding her to her office.

"Sure, how can I be of your assistance." she said teasingly formal. He lifted his eyebrow and gave her a glare.

"I wanted to show you something." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny black box. When he opened it, B'Elanna's mouth fell open.

"That's beautiful, Chakotay."

Inside the box was a silver ring, with the most radiant and shiny blue stone, shaped like a heart.

"Do you think she will like it?"

"If she doesn't, she has no taste. I would marry you in an instant if you presented that one to me. That's if I assume correctly and that _is _an engagement ring."

"Yes it is." His smile almost reached his ears. "I'm going to ask her tonight."

"Oh Chakotay, that's wonderful!" B'Elanna flung her arms around his neck in a tight hug. As soon as she had let go of him, she swatted him painfully on the arm. "And about time!"

"I know."

"So, what can we do?"

"What do you mean?"

"How are you going to propose?"

"I was thinking of asking her to a quiet dinner in my quarters."

"No, no, no, Chakotay. Think big! A massive surprise party in the mess hall. The crew has been waiting for this..."

"The crew?" he interrupted.

A slight shade of pink coloured her cheeks. "Yes.

"I don't even want to know." he shook his head. "So, a big party?"

"Yes."

"How do we explain a party?"

"We don't. We get her there with an excuse. We scream 'surprise' and when she asks what the surprise is, you come out and present her the ring. When she says yes..."

"_If_ she says yes."

"_When_ she says yes, we'll even have Tuvok ready to marry you."

Chakotay's eyes almost popped out of their sockets and his mouth fell open. After a moment, he regained his composure.

"You've got this all planned out, have you?"

"I had a little help." she admitted.

"Let me guess... Tom?"

"And Harry."

"Voluntarily?"

"Yep."

"I don't believe it." he couldn't contain his pleasure anymore and laughed out loud. "You guys are something, you know that."

"You know you can count on us!" she winked. "Now, let us do the work. Just show up on time tonight. Don't you dare chicken out!"

"I wouldn't dream of it. I'll see you at 1800."

* * *

Chakotay entered the mess hall and looked dumbfounded when it looked like it always did. He had expected at least some kind of decoration.

Neelix came out of his kitchen carrying a tray of finger food and almost ran into the Commander.

"Commander Chakotay... I'm so sorry, I didn't see you."

"Where are you going Neelix? I thought we were going to have the party here."

"I'm afraid the mess hall was a little too small to host your party, Commander. We've moved it to holodeck 2. I think the Captain is going to like what we have done." he explained and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Too small." Chakotay said to himself. "What do you mean, too small?" he then said out loud.

"We'll have Voyager running on auto-pilot, nobody wants to miss this."

Neelix passed him and went out the door. Chakotay shook his head, starting to feel a little nervous. The entire crew... what if she said no?

"Neelix, wait for me." he yelled and went after him.

When they entered holodeck 2, Chakotay couldn't believe what he saw. They weren't indoors, but on the most beautiful site he could ever imagine.

"This is Lake George..."

"Yes it is."

"She's going to love this."

"We thought she would."

There was a boat ready for departure, strings of lights hung on the railings and on deck was a romantic table set, complete with roses and champagne.

"Take her out on the boat to propose. When she says yes, light the fireworks!" Tom gave him instructions.

"_If..._ Fireworks? Are you serious?"

"Deadly! When you arrive back here, we'll all be here, ready for you to get married."

Chakotay drew in a deep breath and tugged his ear.

"Not getting cold feet are you?"

"Not at all. I'm just... happy we're finally here. Ready to take it to the next level. If only she says yes."

"Have faith, Chakotay!" B'Elanna comforted him as she came up behind him and squeezed his shoulder. "She loves you as much as you love her."

"You never know with that woman." he said, barely a whisper.

"Come on, let's get on with it." Tom patted him on the arm. He and B'Elanna walked to the doors and just before they stepped out, Tom turned and winked. "Good luck, Chakotay!"

"Thanks."

When the doors slid close, he turned around and took in the scenery. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tapped his badge.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

"Go ahead."

"I was wondering if you could meet me in holodeck 2. I have a little surprise planned for you."

"What kind of surprise?" she asked, sounding very excited.

"Do I need to define the word surprise?"

"No, but... can't you give me a little hint."

"Dress up."

"Dress up? Why?"

"Can't you just, for once, do as you're told?"

"I'm the Captain, I outrank you."

"You have 20 minutes." he simply said. "Chakotay out."

"Wait a minute, you can't just drop this on me and..."

"Oh, look at that, I just did." he laughed and closed the comm. line. He could swear he heard her curse before the line closed.

* * *

Chakotay was waiting for her just outside the holodeck. He had his hands behind his back and the cutest smile on his face. Hers appeared immediately as she saw him.

"Excuse me pretty lady, but have I seen you around he before?"

"It's possible." she flirted back and batted her eyelashes. Chakotay's heart melted.

"Must be so, I always remember a beauty when I see one." He leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss on her cheek. As he pulled away, he offered her a rose. She took it and breathed in the scent.

"Close your eyes." he whispered in her ear. She did as she was told and let him lead her in.

The cool breeze surprised her, she didn't expect to be outdoors, but she trusted him.

"Is that water I hear?"

"Mmhmm."

After a few steps on the soft ground, they stepped onto the wooden scaffold. She knew exactly where she was.

"Stop." he ordered. He placed her arm over his shoulder and carefully lifted her in his arms. She tensed for a second, but knew she was in safe hands and let him take her anywhere he wanted. He stepped onto the deck and carefully let her down on her feet again.

"Open your eyes."

As soon as she did, tears welled up in her eyes by the sight of the romantic scene before her.

"You never cease to amaze me." she said and turned around to give him a kiss on his cheek. He quickly cupped hers and pulled her close to kiss her on the lips. The jolt that went through her, made her knees go weak. When he pulled away again, she was left breathless.

"I hope I never do."

He held out a chair and let her sit down before he popped the champagne bottle and topped off their glasses.

"To us. To the rest of our lives." he toasted.

"To the rest of our lives." she confirmed, which gave him hope for the right outcome of the evening.

Chakotay realised he had no excuse to put it off any longer.

"Look at that beautiful sunset." he pointed at the horizon. Kathryn turned her head and was mesmerized by the orange glow of the setting sun. Chakotay took the advantage and reached in his pocket for the box. He knelt beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. She lazily let her head rest on his shoulder and closed her eyes, relishing in the warmth of his embrace.

"Kathryn, there is something important I need to ask you." She heard the quiver in his voice and looked up at him with concern in her eyes.

"What is it?"

He opened the box with one hand and held it out for her. The blue stone reflected beautifully in the light and it immediately caught her eye. Her eyes widened and her heart stopped beating.

"Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

For the first time, she didn't know what to say. She had been proposed to before, and her answer had come right away, but now she was at a loss for words.

This man sitting beside her, asking her this question, was the first one she felt so sure about marrying. That's also what scared the hell out of her. Her previous engagements had turned into disasters and she couldn't bear the thought of losing Chakotay.

"Kathryn?" he startled her back into reality.

She looked up into his eyes and suddenly started crying. Chakotay didn't understand what was happening. He just wrapped his arms around her and let her cry.

"Talk to me, my love."

"I'm cursed." she managed between sobs.

"You're not cursed. What makes you say that?"

"Engagements don't go well with me."

"Kathryn, do you really believe that?" He let go of her a little and looked in her eyes, a small smile on his face.

"Yes."

He had to hold back a laugh, because he felt she was being serious and he didn't want to mock her.

"What if I ensured you that the safety protocols are working perfectly." he tried to lighten the mood. Kathryn's crying had subsided and the corner of her mouth twitched. Finally she managed a smile too.

"Oh Chakotay, I would love to be your wife, but then I will need to confine you to _our_ quarters, cause I can't lose you."

"_Our _quarters, that sounds really good."

"Don't laugh."

"I'm not. Kathryn, you will never lose me!"

"You can't promise that."

"You can't promise me that either and I would be pretty devastated if I would ever lose you." He cupped her cheek with his free hand and wiped away her tear with his thumb.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"I would love to marry you!" The smile that lit up his face was priceless. Kathryn matched it and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"This calls for the proper celebration." Chakotay said and stood up. He grabbed what looked like a flare gun and pointed it at the already darkening sky. The white fireworks lit up the sky, their faces and made the sapphire blue ring sparkle. He realized he still had it in his hand and knelt before her again on one knee to put it on her finger.

"It's beautiful Chakotay." She held out her hand and admired the heart shaped blue stone.

"I made it especially for you. I found this little gem on New Earth. The colour reminded me of your eyes."

"You made me a ring yourself? You had this planned?"

"Yes. I was ready to start a life there, with you, the right way. But then they came for us and... you..." He turned to look away.

"I what?" she put her finger under his chin to make him look at her again.

"You changed somehow. I felt that what we had, was left behind on that planet."

"I'm so sorry for that." Now she looked away.

"I'm just glad you realized what we had was worth pursuing."

He leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. He stood back up and pulled her up with him.

"I have another surprise."

"Can this night get any better?"

"I hope so. But I need you to change first."

"Change?"

"Trust me."

He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a blindfold. She let him put it on and carry her off the boat again.

"I'll see you soon, my love."

"Chakotay?"

He didn't answer anymore and she felt another hand guide her out the holodeck. She knew they were female hands, softer and gentler. She thought of B'Elanna, but couldn't be sure. She always imagined her hands to rougher because of the work she had to do. Maybe Kes? She just had to trust Chakotay and whoever was leading her.

She heard a door open and close again behind her. The unknown person helped her out of her dress and into another. The one she had on now, felt heavier, but softer. Her hands wandered down and she was surprised by the satin fabric that glided through her fingers. They pulled up the dress, the straps over her shoulders and then they unclasped her bra. It seemed she didn't need it.

They sat her down on a chair and pulled all the pins out of her hair. They draped it over her shoulders, just pulled back two strings to keep it out of her face. The curls that remained after the bun were a nice touch.

"Keep your eyes closed." That was definitely B'Elanna, who took the blindfold off.

She applied some make-up and lipstick and to finish everything off, she helped her into her shoes.

Kathryn wondered what she was wearing. Even if she hadn't seen the result, she felt beautiful. B'Elanna helped her up and let her take three steps forward.

"You can look now."

Kathryn slowly opened her eyes and did a double take when she saw her reflection in the full length mirror in front of her. Her hands flew to her mouth and for the second time that evening, tears welled up in her eyes.

She had on a white dress with a long skirt, not wide, but fitting around her legs and then waving out from the knees down. It showed a little cleavage, but not too much and the straps were covered in glass pearls. She turned around to look at the back. It wasn't low cut, but it showed a beautiful part of her back, which she liked. She felt feminine and not at all captain right now. The flower that held back her hair looked perfect with the dress. The same glass pearls covering the leaves, which twinkled in the light.

"Don't cry, you'll ruin your make-up." B'Elanna warned, clearly struggling to hold back her own tears.

"I don't believe this."

"You mentioned something about being cursed. Engagements weren't your thing. Well, this will be the shortest engagement ever."

"We were alone on the boat..." she looked at B'Elanna in question. She just smiled and shook her head.

"Let's go, everyone is waiting."

Kathryn took one last look in the mirror. Whoever had chosen the dress had done a wonderful job. This was the one she had always dreamt of, at least it came very close.

B'Elanna led her back to the holodeck. The entire setting had changed. It was still outdoors, but not Lake Georges anymore.

On the left were beautifully set tables and on the right they had set up what looked like a dance floor. In front of them were two rows of chairs, with the entire crew and a red carpet leading up to the altar in the middle. It all felt very 21st century like and Kathryn knew this was Tom's doing.

When she looked past her crew, she saw Chakotay, dressed in his Starfleet dress uniform. He looked gorgeous in the deep red colour.

"May I walk you down the aisle, Captain?" the EMH startled her and held out his arm. She placed her hand in the crook of his arm and nodded, feeling overwhelmed, but very happy.

"I would love that."

The traditional music played and they made their way up to the altar. Kathryn looked around her and noticed the _entire_ crew was there.

'_Who's running the ship?'_ she thought, but shook it off as she realized she was being silly. She was getting married, why was she worrying about the ship. They surely had it covered.

The butterflies in her stomach came to life with each step she took bringing her closer to the handsome man she was about to marry. She noticed the tears in his eyes and felt hers rise to the surface again too.

Chakotay was mesmerised. He had never seen such a beautiful woman in his life before. Kathryn looked like an angel in her crisp white dress. It complemented every part of her body and showed just enough to leave the rest to his imagination.

The EMH took her hand from his arm and brought it up to his mouth and gave it a kiss.

"Captain... I mean, Kathryn..." he bowed his head and offered her hand to Chakotay, who took it eagerly.

The crew sat down when they turned to Tuvok and he started the ceremony.

"We are gathered here today, not as Starfleet officers, but as friends and family, to celebrate the marriage of Captain Kathryn Janeway and Commander Chakotay. As Senior Officer and good friend to Captain Janeway, the honour of joining these two people has fallen to me. But before I declare them husband and wife, Commander Chakotay has prepared a vow."

Kathryn looked at him in surprise. He took both her hands in his and placed them on his heart.

"My beautiful Kathryn. Many people spend their lives searching for their soul mate, their one true love. Some people are lucky to find the person they can truly call the better half of themselves, while others spend the rest of their lives searching and never finding. I am happy to count myself among the lucky ones, because I certainly found you. And now that I have, I shall never let you go. I promise you, Kathryn, that I shall hold you and cherish you and give you my heart, that I shall support you and care for you. Faithfully, I shall always stand steadfast at your side with your hand in mine, regardless of what life and the Delta Quadrant would bring to us. I love you, from now to eternity."

A single tear ran down her face at hearing those words. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and managed a smile.

"Mr. Kim, the ring." Tuvok said and Harry offered it to Chakotay.

"May this ring be a symbol of our eternal love." he said as he put it on her finger.

"Commander..." Tuvok started, but was interrupted by Kathryn.

"Wait! There is something I need to say too." Tuvok nodded again and Kathryn turned to Chakotay, who had the same look on his face as she had had only moments before.

"Chakotay, I want you to know how lucky I feel for having found the one perfect person for me, the one who suits me so comfortably and who gives me joy and boundless hope even in the hardest of times. I know I haven't made it easy for you to love me, but I'm grateful for your persistence. A few years ago I didn't even know your name... today; I can't imagine a single day without you. I love you too, from now to eternity."

Chakotay moved closer, ready to kiss her, but Tom intervened. "Uh, uh, not quite yet!" He handed her the other ring and smiled smugly.

"May this ring be the symbol of our eternal love." she said, barely a whisper and slid the ring around his finger.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway, Commander Chakotay, with the power invested in me by Starfleet Command and the United Federations of Planets, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

They looked at each other, letting Tuvoks words sink in.

Tom cleared his throat. "Now you can kiss her, big guy!" he said and patted his shoulder. Laughter filled the room for a minute, but everyone went quiet again when they moved closer for the kiss.

Kathryn's blue's and Chakotay's brown eyes locked, the intensity of their gaze could be felt in the room. She rose up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, while he wrapped his around her waist. Then they kissed, sparks flying.

Everyone began clapping and cheering, but the sound seemed to fade away to the new bride and groom. When they finally broke for much needed air, broad smiles appeared on their faces and they realized their entire family surrounded them, ready to celebrate this wondrous event.

* * *

Not too long ago, the only thing Kathryn had wanted was just one more day. Now that one day had turned into a lifetime. A lifetime to show and tell Chakotay how much she loved him.

Feeling blessed for that chance, she thanked every God in the entire universe.

Today was the first day of the rest of their lives, together, and together they were ready to take on everything life would be throwing at them, starting with the Delta Quadrant.

* * *

The End

BDC 2010


End file.
